Dissidia Madness 012: House of Duodecim
by SoulEmbrace2010
Summary: The new cast of Dissidia 012 are forced to live together. What will happen? o.O!  Preview of Madness 14 is up!
1. The New Addition

A/N: This story is just for fun!

Characters: Lightning, Kain Highwind, Tifa Lockhart, Vaan, Laguna Loire, Yuna

Summary: A basic story where the new characters of Dissidia 012 are forced to live in a mansion together. Yuna, the newest addition to the Dissidia cast, joins in on the fun.

WARNING: Just for fun, random, funny, out of character

House of Duodecim

The New Addition

* * *

"Well, here you are Miss Yuna," said the director, Takahashi.

Yuna bowed her head, "Thank you for the ride Mr. Takahashi."

Yuna stepped out of the Hummer with her luggage and bags to find a huge mansion facing her.

"Uh sir," she said meekly, sweatdropping a little, "how long am I going to be staying here?"

"Until Spring." Takahashi answered, "Boss's orders."

Yuna whined a bit.

"Don't worry." He assured her, "I'm sure the others will welcome you with open arms.

"But the atmosphere here making me think I'm being sent to the insane asylum."

"You're not," Takahashi said firmly, "Others will be joining you soon. Have fun now."

He drove off, leaving Yuna at the gate. Sighing, she walked over to the nearby scanner and swiped her Square Enix ID card.

Computer: "ACKNOWLEDGED. WELCOME YUNA."

Yuna walked through the gates as they closed. It took her two minutes to get from the gate to the front door of the large mansion, where a young woman in a maid outfit was waiting for her.

"Hey Yuna," she said, "How've you been?"

"Aya?" Yuna asked, "What are you doing here? You're not in Dissidia, are you?"

"Unfortunately, nope." she said, "But the boss wanted me to work in the mansion for a while, and he wanted me to give Lightning some of my clothes."

"What?" Yuna was dumbfounded as Aya took her bags and led her inside, "Lightning's in Dissidia?"

"Yep." Aya sighed, "She's been bitching nonstop ever since she got here."

"I fear for my life now…" Yuna grumbled.

"Well, I'll take these upstairs," Aya said, "And you can go meet the other cast."

Aya left, carrying Yuna's bags. Yuna then entered the living room, where she found two people, one watching TV, while the other's reading a newspaper, looking bored. The one watching TV noticed Yuna.

"Yo, so you're next in be in Dissidia huh Yuna?"

"Laguna Loire?"

"In the flesh." he said, "Welcome to the madhouse. Just don't mind Kain here. He's never in a talking mood. And if he does, it's not nice."

"Shut up." said Kain Highland, flipping his paper.

"His life ambition is to own his friend Cecil with a lance and the almighty Jump." Laguna snickered.

"I said shut up!"

"…"

"Guess he is talkative when he want to be." Yuna said, smiling.

Kain flipped Laguna the bird and continued to read.

"So what can you do Laguna? Do you own a gunblade like Squall?" asked Yuna.

"Nope," he said, "I'm a Tactical Gunner. I'm supposed to be strategic like the Emperor dude and that clown Kefka. But I consider myself different from those asses. What do you plan to do Yuna?"

Yuna was about to answer when a huge explosion rocked the mansion. Laguna fell off the sofa as Yuna tripped and fell into the sofa.

"What was that?" she cried.

"You got me!" Laguna yelled as a person ran and hid behind the sofa with Laguna, "Vaan! What the hell was that?"

"Don't ask!" he responded.

"TIFA!"

The said young woman slid down the stairs and ran for her life, followed closely by an angry looking Lightning Farron with her gunblade in hand. At this sight, Kain ran for it and retreated into the kitchen pantry.

"What have I gotten myself into?" Yuna whined, hiding under a table.

To be continued…


	2. The Ultimatum

A/N: Who care if this story doesn't make sense? It's funny!

Summary: Lightning's mayhem yields hell for all.

The Ultimatum

* * *

Another explosion rocked the mansion, knocking Yuna out of the sofa.

"Vaan!" Laguna yelled, "What did you do this time?"

"I didn't do anything!" Vaan cried, "It was Tifa!"

"Tifa Lockhart!" Lightning shouted, "Get back here!"

"No way!" Tifa shouted back, "Not if you're chasing me with that gunblade!"

"You fondled me!" Lightning screeched, "PAY THE PRICE!"

Lightning turned her gunblade in gun mode and start shooting at Tifa, who dodged for her life.

"Lightning!" Laguna snapped, "Remember the rules? No fighting or it's our heads!"

Lightning ignored him and kept shooting, destroying a chandler that Tifa was using for cover.

"Come on Light." Vaan poked his head out, "It not like Tifa's a man- woah!"

He ducked, the bullet missing him by inches.

"What's her deal?" cried Yuna, "Being in Dissidia can't be that bad can it?"

"She's been loco ever since SE decided to expand her world with XIII-2." Laguna explained, "And it was the boss who had to drag her out of wherever she was to this mansion. She was one of the first to live with Tifa and Kain."

"I thought she was a soldier." Yuna said.

Laguna agreed, "We thought so too." He poked his head out, "Kain, will you get your ass out of there and help out a little."

"No thank you," Kain responded through the pantry, "Piss off."

"What now?" asked Vaan, "If Lightning continues like this, we're all screwed, and we're the one who'll have to clean the place up."

"The boss might pull a Harry Potter and punish us to fix this place without our abilities." Laguna joked.

"By the sound of that, this situation is not funny anymore." Yuna said, "I'll stop them."

"With what?" asked Vaan, "Your guns?"

Yuna shook her head, "Takahashi-san said that my role is Dissidia… is to summon."

Laguna and Vaan look paled as Yuna continued. "He also said that I can use two summons at a time."

"…We're doomed." Vaan said as he squirmed under the sofa now.

"That's what I said when you came along." Laguna grumbled.

Yuna laughed, then she hopped over the sofa and into the foyer where Lightning was still trying to gun down Tifa.

"Cut it out Light!" Tifa blocked one of Lightning's shots, "We're both girls. It was supposed to lighten you up!"

"ODIN!"

Yuna was blown back by the power of Lightning's summon as she summoned Odin in Gestalt Mode and wield it's weapon.

"Lightning, you know that it's no secret that you're a lesbian." Tifa said, laughing.

"What was that?" Lightning was pissed now.

"We all know that you have hot for your sister, and Vanille, even Lebreau." Tifa pressed on, "And with those bites on their necks, I thought a vampire got them."

Lightning was about to attack when Valefor, Ifrit, Ixion, Shiva, and Bahamut suddenly surrounded her.

"Huh?"

"What the?"

"Knock it off you two!"

Lightning and Tifa turned their turns to see Yuna with her staff out, controlling her summons.

"Yuna-chan!"

Tifa hopped down and went to go hug her.

"I never thought you would be in Dissidia! How are you?"

"Good." Yuna said, returning the hug, "So what was the fuss about?"

They broke off as Tifa blushed a bit, "The reason's kinda ridiculous to be honest."

"What is it Tifa," Laguna said as he and Vaan walked over to the group, "Why the hell was Lightning so hot?"

Tifa looked over at Lightning, who went Odin back, "She wanted a massage, and one of my hand touched her breast."

Everyone except Tifa and Lightning crashed into the ground as Yuna's summons disappeared.

"That's it?" asked Kain, who joined them, "I was interrupted because of that pathetic reason?"

"Shut up Kain." Laguna advised him.

"Now that everyone's here…"

The new cast of Dissidia turned to see Aya, who looked disapproving and holding her iPad..

"Can I have your attention please, because I've just received an e-mail from the boss."

Laguna cringed, "Well, we're screwed. Thanks a lot Light-chan."

Lightning growled at him but Vaan motioned for her to shut up.

"And I quote," Aya continued, "Now that everyone gotten to know each other, barely, because of the mess Claire slash Éclair "Lightning" Farron made while chasing Tifa around, I am ordering everyone here to clean up the place for the new revealed folks that'll be joining you."

Everyone moaned while Lightning looked down in shame.

"Failure to comply will result in severe, disturbing consequences."

"Like what?" asked Laguna, "How can they be so disturbing?"

"He buffing." Kain said simply.

"Thanks a lot for asking that Kain-san, I really don't want to read what's next but now I'm forced to..." Aya sighed and read on.

"Kain, your punishment will be of official pictures released to the fans of you doing "it" with Cecil."

Everyone was looking disturbed as Kain looked horrified.

"Tifa, yours will involve tentacles, 'nuff said."

Tifa looked as though she rather be casted with Doom.

"Laguna, your pictures will have time and Ultimecia."

Laguna whimpered.

"Yuna, I know you're new and you stopped Light, but all is fair in love and war. Your punishment will involve your summons, period."

The look on Yuna's face was unreadable as everyone shook their heads of the unpleasant image.

"For you Vaan, the Judges back home will judge you in their own way."

Vaan shrieked, "No thank you!"

"And you Lightning."

Everyone looked at Lightning, who was trying to keep her poker face.

"Your will be me releasing pictures of Snow and Serah getting in on, if you know what I mean."

A moment later, Lightning gave off the most inhuman scream ever.

"The deadline is three days. And trust me, if any of you are slacking off, those terrible things I threatened you with, WILL happen. Good day."

Sighing with relief, Aya looked down to see the other extremely disturbed until Laguna yelled, "GET THE PAINTBUCKETS, AND THE JACKHAMMERS!"

To be continued…


	3. Randomness, Spices, and the Trio

A/N: I really wanted this in a script format. It would make my life much easier :(

Summary: A few detours later, the new trio arrives in hell.

Randomness, Spices and the Trio

* * *

The next day, the fixing and cleaning of the mansion was going off without a hitch, unless you can count Lightning knocking another bucket of paint on her third victim, Yuna.

"Why me~" she shook out her hair, spraying paint everywhere, spattering Aya.

"Once again," said Laguna, mopping the floor, "Welcome to the madhouse."

"I wish her sister was here," said Vaan, coming out of the kitchen after washing the dishes, "She's the only one who can control Lightning. Wish we knew how she do it."

"We don't need a relationship in the house where one sister cares for the other while the other don't recognize the same care given back to her thank you." Tifa snapped, carrying a few boxes, "One of the reasons how Serah got herself into that pinch."

"True…" Laguna grumbled.

"Where's Kain?" asked Yuna as Tifa grabbed a bucket of water and poured it on Yuna's hair.

"He was dusting last I saw him." said Vaan.

Everyone went silent.

"That's quite the image Vaan." Lightning said, coming downstairs to clean up her mess.

"Why don't we take a break?" said Tifa, tossing the boxes in the living room, "We've been working all morning."

"Not to mention starving." Vaan noted, "We skipped breakfast, brunch, and lunch."

His stomach growled in agreement.

"No kidding." said Yuna, who finished drying herself off with Ifrit.

Laguna nodded, "So, who up for cooking?"

Everyone looked at each other until…

"I'll do it."

"You Lightning?" Aya raised her eyebrows.

"I prefer death." Tifa said.

"I've gotten a lot better!" Lightning said, "Seriously."

"Doesn't hurt to let her try." Laguna shrugged.

Lightning grinned, "Leave it to me!"

"We're doomed." Tifa despaired.

A few hours later…

Yuna was on the sofa, clutching her upset stomach. Laguna was in the bathroom for a while and hasn't come out yet. Kain was banging on the door, trying to get in.

"I guess it's true when they say Serah cooks better than Light." Vaan moaned, rolling on the floor.

"It's not that bad." Lightning said, looking completely normal.

"How did Serah survive?" Yuna buried her face in the pillows.

Aya them appeared and said, "Got an e-mail everyone, and a few announcements. And just what the hell happened to you all."

"Lightning." Yuna and Vaan said.

"What the hell you do this time?" Aya groaned.

"I made spicy pasta." said Lightning.

"You sure?"

"Ok ok, I grab some of that Chef B stuff and added some spices. Happy?"

Aya rushed into the kitchen and looked in the cupboards, "Are you kidding? Some? You added the whole package! How are you fine?"

Lightning shrugged and said, "How is it that there are a dozen bathroom in this place and Kain's trying to get in the one Laguna's in."

One hour later…

"I think we all agree never to let Lightning cook ever again." Laguna said.

"My stomach-"

"Shut up Kain."

"I think I'll cook next time." Tifa said.

"I think we have enough eye candy, don't you think?" Kain said.

"Would you like to go to heaven?" Tifa snarled, cracking her fist.

"Enough you guys," Aya said, "For I have good news."

"What?"

"You'll be getting out in three months to join the others in Dissidia."

"In March?" Lightning sighed in relief, "Thank the Maker…"

"Don't you mean, "Thank God"?" Vaan said.

"And," Aya continued, "The host of this mansion will be coming back tonight."

"Ariel Averia's coming back?" Kain groaned, "Not good."

"Only because you piss her off with your attitude." Tifa noted.

"Ariel's the host?" asked a surprised Yuna, "Is she in Dissidia?"

"No," Ava laughed, "She wish she was through."

"She had to leave to supervise the interviews with Dissidia Originals." Laguna said.

"Also, some the original Warriors of Cosmos will switch to Chaos and one visa versa."

Tifa swore, "Not good."

"Furthermore, three will be three new additions join you all. Ariel will be arriving with them in two hours, so get this place clean."

"We're almost done with that." Laguna said, "Come on guys."

"Oh Lightning, wait."

Lightning turned to Aya as the others walked off.

"The boss sent you this. You won't like this."

Aya handed her a picture. Lightning took one look at it and fainted on the spot.

"I'm surprise she didn't die on the spot," Aya blinked, "Talk about Serah taking it all in. At that rate, she'll be an octomom."

Two hours later…

The crew finished fixing up the mansion and was preparing for the new guest when an unpleasant, ripping noise sounded through the foyer.

"VAAN!" Lightning yelled.

"What the hell!" Tifa shrieked.

"Sorry! The pasta came back to haunt me." He groaned.

"Hey guys, I finished decorating the living room- What's that smell?" Yuna stopped dead.

"That my friend would happen to be Vaan's ass." Laguna said holding his nose.

"To hell with this," Lightning snapped, "I'm opening the window."

"You're the direct cause of it, emo."

"You wanna die Kain?"

"No thanks."

"All right you two, quit your chatter boxing." Laguna said, "Don't want to have a bad impression for our new friends like Yuna had."

He turned to Lightning, "And will you open the window?"

"Alright!"

She opened it, "Can hardly breathe in here anyway."

"So uh… what the origin of this place?" Yuna asked.

"This mansion belongs to Lara Croft." Laguna explained, "She recently joined SE."

"Where is she now?"

"On an island."

"SHIT! Don't tell me he's in Dissidia!"

Everyone turned to Lightning, who pointed out the window. They looked out to see a man in bulky samurai armor.

"It been a while…"

"Great," Lightning complained, "Out of all possible characters, we had to attract this piece of shit."

"I thought he was a summon." Tifa said.

Kain yawned, "Who cares?"

Everyone shouted him down, "WE DO!"

"We trust that you'll be on your best behavior, Gilgamesh." said a stern Aya.

"What the hell?" he said, "Don't you know who the fuck I am?"

Everyone nodded their heads.

"I'm the Gilgamesh bitch!"

And he smashed through the front door, breaking it into pieces.

"Behold, the glorious debut of Gilgamesh! Prepare yourself for oblivion!"

He turned to the rest of the cast, who were all looking horrified.

"What's that smell?" he asked, "Someone decomposing?"

Aya groaned, "I hope you realized that you just doomed everyone, including yourself."

"Shut up bitch. Make me a sandwich."

Everyone's eyes were as wide as dinner plates. Is this guy for real?

Aya was suddenly wearing a scary smile, "I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that…"

"I said-"

The others dogpiled him, "Shut up!"

Gilgamesh was dizzy by the time they got off him.

"What an asshole." said Tifa.

"He's definitely a Warrior of Chaos." Lightning said, "I feel sorry for him already. You okay, Aya?"

"Yeah." she nodded, "You actually saved him from getting deep-fried."

"Hi!"

"Now what?"

They turned to see a young girl who just walked in with her bags.

"The most bad-ass Elvaan of the 11th Dimension, Combo Maker Prishe, sanjou!"

Vaan was stunned, "Uh oh."

Yuna nodded, "My ears are gonna bleed buckets."

"Yo, Miss Prishe." said Laguna, "I'm Laguna, and this is Tifa, Lightning, Vaan, Yuna, and Kain. Welcome to the madhouse. We apologize for Gilgamesh here."

Prishe took one look at the downed samurai, "Who kicked his ass?"

Vaan laughed, "Hey, don't ask, don't tell."

"Shut up Vaan." Lightning snapped.

"That's two so far." said Laguna, "Where's the third?"

"The third isn't much of a fighter," Prishe said, "The boss said that all she had to do was assist."

"Lucky." Kain said, "She has the luckiest job out of all of us."

"I think it's best for her." Prishe said, "Seeing she came back from the dead."

"She? Not other girl." Kain complained. A swift kick to the nuts from behind by Yuna finally silenced him.

"I told you I got pulled out of the Lifestream." said a voice behind her.

Prishe turn to the other young woman who was carrying her own bags and panting.

"Sounds like the same thing flower girl." Prishe countered, "Get out more."

"Oh sorry. I've been floating around my world for the past few years." she countered back, "But the boss forcibly yanking me out of the Lifestream hasn't done anything nice to my lifespan."

"So you got eight more life then?"

"Shut up."

"…Aerith?"

Aerith finally looked at the crew of Dissidia and locked eyes with Tifa.

To be continued…


	4. Desperado

A/N: I'M DOIN' MY BEST :(

Summary: An unpleasant visitor brings unpleasant news.

Desperado

* * *

A few days later after the new arrivials, they started to get use to each other's company.

"It's like they haven't seen each other in decades." Kain said.

Vaan hit Kain around the head, "Who knows how Tifa felt when she saw Aerith killed in front of her."

"I want steak!"

"You want everything Gligamesh," Lightning snapped, "Quiet!"

"Shut up fool!"

"No, you shut up!"

"You!"

"You!"

"You!"

"You!"

"You infinity."

Yuna was coming back from watering the garden when Gilgamesh flew past her and out the door, landing on the flowers Yuna just tended to.

"Sorry Yuna," Lightning quickly put her gunblade away, "Wrong time, wrong place I guess?"

"…Tell that to Shiva…" Yuna growled, Shiva appearing behind her, "Rape her please…"

"WHAT?" Lightning screeched, "You're kidding!"

"Hey Light," Vaan said, "I think she's serious…"

"And I bet fans will pay big to see that," Laguna said, "But in this situation, I don't think it's funny."

"Run!" Vaan advised as Shiva charged at Lightning.

"What going on?" Prishe asked, coming in with Lightning running for her life past her with Shiva in tow.

"Lightning pissed Yuna off," Laguna said simply, "How our newest couple?"

"On the roof," she said, "I swear, Aerith's not your girl next door."

"Just like you." Kain smirked.

Laguna ducked as Kain soared over his head after Prishe dropkicked him. He crashed on the stove in the kitchen where their lunch was cooking.

Kain howled in pain as Laguna and Vaan laughed their asses off. Hopping up and down, Kain made a beeline for the nearest bathroom.

"He'll be branded for life," said Prishe, "Better than seeing Tifa and Aerith make out on the roof."

"Wow," said a surprised Vaan, "Lightning's got competition."

"Speaking of who, where'd she go?" asked Prishe.

"Help! Her ice lloks bigger than Snow's!"

Prishe blinked, "Snow did her?"

Laguna waved it off, "Only in fanfiction."

"That's disturbing," Prishe shook it off, "I once read one of those where Cloud did something with Sephiroth that involved-"

"Thank you Prishe," Laguna interrupted, looking creeped, "Every creative, and illuminating."

He turned to Yuna, "Hey Yuna, can you cut it out before Lightning's forced to summon Odin?"

Yuna just looked at him.

"Ok, maybe not."

The doorbell rang.

"I'll get it."

Yuna was at the door when Lightning dived from the second floor and landed facefirst on the ground.

"Okay!" Lightning screamed, "I'm sorry!"

Yuna snapped her finger, and Shiva disappeared, bowing.

"Just don't do that again." said Yuna, opening the door, "Oh!"

"Is it the pizza?" said Vaan, coming into the foyer, "…Maybe not!"

"What up my chicks and cocks?"

"Uh hi, Chaos." Yuna squeaked.

"Is that Chaos?" asked Lightning, getting up, "What's he wearing?"

"This rookie, is my new form you have to look forward to, noobs" he said, pushing Yuna out of the way and stepping him, flexing his biceps, "Desperado Chaos!"

Flames exploded behind them as he posed.

"Oh god…" Lightning was appalled.

"Chaos!"

Gigamesh recovered quickly and ran towards Chaos, who stepped out of the way when Gilgamesh tired to hug him. He landed in the dirt outside.

"What's going on?"

Tifa and Aerith ran down the stair with Prishe and Laguna coming from the living room. Kain limped out behind them seconds later.

"So, you're all the new crew then bitches?" Chaos smirked, "You all look weak."

Prishe scanned Chaos up and down, "Why don't you ask your Legion of Doom. I'm sure they'll disagree."

"Silence shortstock!"

"What are you doing there Chaos?"

Chaos turned to see Aya, coming back from shopping, "And what the hell are you wearing?"

"Awesomeness."

Everyone crashed to the ground.

"So, Chaos," Yuna summoned her staff, "What do you want?"

"I came to tell you that your dear friends who used to be Warrior of Cosmos in the 13th cycles, are my new bitches, despite losing Jecht to Cosmos."

"Really?" Tifa cracked her knuckles, "Who are they?"

"Terra, Cloud, and Tidus, a bargain!"

"Cloud?"

"Tidus?"

"Terra?"

"Ha ha ha. Eat it! Enjoy fighting your allies!"

Chaos laughed and left, not without surround the mansion in a tower of flames.

"Now to feast on Cosmos. The fanfiction does not justice compare what I'm gonna do to her. Maybe that mule made of wood'll do that trick-"

When he was far enough, he dispelled the flames and flew off laughing some more.

"Aya, what did Chaos mean?" Every gather around Aya, who sighed.

"The boss wanted Cosmos and Chaos to date." she explained, "But he drugged one of her drinks."

"Does that mean what I think it mean?" Lightning asked.

"Rescue mission!"

"Say what?" Everyone looked at Aerith.

"She have to rescue her," Aerith said, "She can't show up on 012 looking like a-"

"Slut in heat." Prishe finished for her, "No other way to describe it. Should I tell you guys about a picture where Cosmos was surrounded and screwed by-"

Laguna covered her mouth, "Thank you Prishe! We need a plan."

"I got one-" Lightning started.

Tifa kicked her, "No, your "Rescue Serah Plan" sucked and went down the toilet, literally."

Lightning snarled in outrage.

"It's true." Kain nodded, "She didn't believe her little sister, which led her in a jam."

Laguna grumbled, "That's not the problem now. How we gonna sneak out? And where's he keeping her?"

"This is a little world." Aya said, "If he's gonna do something to Cosmos, it'll be at that clown's lab."

"Let's go then." Vaan ran out the door.

"I'll vouch for you guys. Go get her." Aya pushed the others out the door.

"Oh joy," Kain moaned, "It's a whirlwind adventure now."

"Down the yellow brick road?"

"No Aerith," Tifa put Aerith on her back, "It's a rescue and an adventure."

She ran after Vaan along with Lightning.

"Wait for me!"

Gligamesh ran after them, but was attacked from behind by Prishe's Howling Fist, knocking him out.

"Fuck off!"

She stepped on him and ran after other followed by Laguna and Kain.

"Can you watch them for us?" Yuna motioned towards Gilgamesh.

"Yeah…" Aya shrugged, "I'll be sure to send the original's too."

"No, just Ariel, WHO IS LATE!"

Yuna ran after others.

"Sure thing," said Aya, steeping on Gilgamesh's coconuts.

To be continued…


	5. No Lightning like Rescue I of II

A/N: Is there such a story with a plot with no plot? LOL

Summary: The new crew goes on a rescue mission.

No Lightning-like Rescue I of II

* * *

Ariel Averia, SoulEmbrace2010's OC for Final Fantasy, knocked at the door where the noobies were living.

"Hi Ariel." Aya said as she opened the door, "What took you so long?"

"Cosmos suddenly disappeared on me after those damn interviews."

"So Chaos did take her…"

"I'm sorry, what?"

Aya laughed nervously, "The other went to go rescue Cosmos from Chaos. Who know what he doing to her now."

"Not good. And just as the boss warned him too." Ariel groaned loudly, "Don't get me started on the time Cosmos got drunk…"

"Hmm, knowing the newbie's, they should be a match for Chaos." Aya reassured her.

"Well, knowing those guys, there nothing they can't handle, except the boss's wrath if he finds out the idiot left."

After running for an hour, Yuna finally summoned Bahamut and had it scoop everyone onto it's back, roughly to be added.

"I broke a buttcheek!" Vaan whined.

Lightning tried to keep a straight face, "You'll be fine."

30 minutes later in the air…

"Hey Laguna," Yuna suddenly asked, "What're you reading over there?"

"It better not be H-doujinshi!" Tifa warned him, "I read enough of those where they depicted me as a helpless bitch with big boobs!"

"I'm reading fanfiction," he said, "Happy?"

"Even worse!" she shrieked, "A PAIRING BETWWEN ME AND SEPHIROTH IS A FREAKIN NIGHTMARE!"

"It's an interesting one with game show, where if a date goes wrong, Chaos get a point. But if a date is successful, Cosmos gets a point. And the pairing has to be between a Warrior of Cosmos and a Warrior of Chaos."

"Oh joy…" Kain rolled his eyes, "What kind of crazy pairing could they come up with for me?"

Prishe smirked, "You and that crown, if worse."

Everyone roared with laughter at an enraged Kain.

"Could go just as well as Sephiroth and Terra," said Laguna, closing his laptop.

Everyone blinked. Words cannot describe any kind of pairing between those two.

"I can't even tell if a date between Cloud and Lightning would go so well."

"It won't…" Lightning said firmly, "Just because he looks like me…"

Vaan snickered, "It's actually the other way around."

"Shut up!"

"Don't complain Light," Prishe laughed, "Any date with you, het or yuri, is gonna suck balls."

"I really don't like fanfiction…" Tifa shivered, "I'm more than just boobs and a pretty face!"

"But the stories between you and Aerith are pretty hot." Prishe pointed out.

"And I'm sure one with you and that crazy professor would be."

Prishe eyes narrowed, "I was trying to make you feel better because you have a sleeping Aerith wrapped in your arms, but if you want get technical about it-"

"Okay, I'm sorry!" Tifa said hastily.

Yuna rolled her eyes as she had Bahamut descend, "We here at the lab."

Inside, they looked all over the stage as the pipe spitted out magical steam.

Yuna grimaced, "Are we really gonna fight here?"

Aerith jumped back dodging the fumes, "Geez."

"They're not here," Laguna said, "Then again, who would want to?"

An unpleasant sound started to ring through the air near them.

"Lightning…" Prishe clamped her ears, "Are you joking?"

"To think Light likes Justin Bieber," Laguna said thoughtful-like, "Unthinkable."

Lightning shrieked, "This is not the ringtone I had set- VAAN!"

Vaan put his hands up, "I didn't touch your cell!"

"Well, it suits you." Kain shrugged, "I thought about switching it to a Hannah Montana song, but this is better."

Yuna blinked, "Did you just admit your crime?"

"Yeah, so?"

WHAM!

Kain was on the floor, clutching his bleeding head as Lightning answered the phone.

"Hello?"

"Cosmos is at the Edge of Madness. And hurry. The boss said that you and the others have one hour to get your rescue mission done before the boss makes good on his promise."

"Thanks…Ariel."

She hung up and turned to Kain, "You are a piece of shit. Let's go. She's at the Edge of Madness."

Laguna nodded, "What else?"

"And we have one hour before the boss makes good on the threats."

Prishe was confused, "Threats?"

But Yuna quickly summoned Bahamut under everyone and flew off.

"I'm sure your threat would include doing something with Shantotto." Vaan snickered.

Prishe growled at him, "Vaan, fuck off."

"I guess we're the madhouse altogether." Tifa rolled her eyes, "Will Kain be alright?"

"No." Lightning smirked, then stomped on Kain's nuts, making Laguna and Vaan cringe.

"Guess not…"

To be continued…


	6. No Lightning like Rescue II of II

A/N: I love DBZ parodies XD

Summary: The team lays a beating on Chaos, Final Fantasy style!

No Lightning-like Rescue II of II

* * *

Everyone huffed loudly as they climbed the long stairs to the Edge of Madness. Due to raging storm in the stage, they were forced to land Bahamut.

"The others had to climb these stairs," Prishe panted, "This blows."

"At least we're getting some practice." Lightning joked.

"We're not you," Yuna said, "We're not hardcore soldier. Some of us are frail you know!"

"I'm not frail." Aerith complained.

Kain smirked, "Sephiroth may disagree with that."

"…"

*UNDESCRIBABLE SOUND*

Everyone cringed as Kain took a Final Heaven to his nuts in one second.

"I. Can't. Wait. Til. March." Tifa said slowly.

"Those balls are inert now." Laguna grabbed the ball holding dragoon by the leg and dragged him up the stairs.

Aerith blushed, "You didn't have to do that."

"It's not my fault he's a dick." Tifa countered.

"How much farther?" Prishe huffed loudly.

"We should be coming up to the platform soon." said Laguna, as he took out a pair of binoculars.

"What do you see?" asked Lightning.

"Nothing so far- wait, what's that floating at the top?"

He gave the specs to Lightning, who looked through them and flinched.

"Come on!" She ran up the stairs.

"Why. Are. We. Running?" Yuna tripped over her long skirt.

Meanwhile, up top…

"Oww~! Someone help me please!"

Back on the bottom, the other made it to ground level.

"I think I broke my shit." Prishe growled, clutching a stitch in her side.

Tifa looked around, "Where's Cosmos?"

"Up there!" Aerith pointed up top.

Laguna looked through his binoculars, "What the hell? Aww, son of a-"

"Help! He's bigger than his tail!"

"You're not going anywhere ya little slut!"

Chaos and Cosmos were in the air on top of the stage, with Chaos arm around a struggling Cosmos.

Prishe blinked, "What a minute. Is she taking it up the ass?"

"Sure is…" Lightning grumbled, "Hold on a sec Cosmos!"

Chaos sneered, "They're not gonna save you."

"Hey asshole!" Laguna shouted, "Put her down now!"

"Piss off!"

"You got three seconds before we come up there and kick your ass!" Yuna shouted.

"Try it if you dare you maggot!"

"Run for your life!" Cosmos wailed, "He'll rape you guys too!"

"Shut up bitch!"

"That does it." Laguna took out his rocket launcher, "Aerith, show him why you're the best assist girl in the business."

"Leave it to me!" Aerith took out her staff, "PLANET PROTECTOR!"

A blight light surrounded a crying Cosmos as Chaos laughed.

"What good will that do you weakling?" sneered Chaos.

"This!"

A streak of light shot between Chaos and Cosmos, separating them. Chaos covered himself as Cosmos fell, until she was caught.

"Kain!" Vaan was impressed, "You've recovered."

"Kinda." he smirked, "Just had to prove that the almighty Jump owns all. Are you alright Cosmos?"

She nodded, shaking as Chaos roared in fury.

Tifa cracked her knuckles, "Well then, it time for me to kick some-"

She stumbled as Prishe jumped towards Chaos.

"After me boobie queen!"

"You little-!"

Prishe was level with Chaos and started punching him as hard as she could.

"Boom-chika-ah! Boom-chika-ah! Boom-chika-ah! Boom-chika-ah! Mm, mm, mm, mm! Prishe-chan, is better than Shantotto, mm!"

"Know despair bitch!"

"Oh shit motherfucker!"

Chaos blasted her with Soul of Oblivion, sending her crashing.

"Time for me to kick some ass!"

Tifa moaned, "Not again!"

Vaan used Pyroclasm as gloves and proceeded beat on Chaos.

"Boom-chika-ah! Boom-chika-ah! Boom-chika-ah! Boom-chika- what?"

Chao was unfazed as he grabbed Vann, "I got red balls of fire!"

"Aw, steel balls are better than fire balls."

"Vanish bitch!"

Vaan screamed like a little girl as Chaos smacked him to the ground.

"My turn!"

Tifa finally rushed at Chaos.

"BURNING ARROW! METEODRIVE! METEOR STRIKE! METEOR CRUSHER! ROLLING BLAZE!"

"…"

But Chaos was unfazed whatsoever, kicking Tifa into a recovered Prishe.

"My turn-"

But he suddenly froze.

"SEAL EVIL!" Aerith shouted.

"Thanks!" Laguna fired a bunch a missile that exploded on Chaos.

Vaan recovered and used Pyroclasm while Kain used his Jump. The Seal Evil ended after Lightning use Army of One. He screamed in pain as the attack took their toll on him.

"METEOR CRUSHER!"

"ASURAN FISTS!"

Chaos was sent crashing into his throne, breaking it.

"And now…" Yuna summoned all her summons, "To the Farplane!"

Chaos roared as he was struck with the summons' special attacks as Yuna danced.

"I'll cast you away!" she cried, ending her EX Burst, sending Chaos flying.

"Why am I blasting away?" he wailed as he flew out of their sights.

Prishe flipped the bird in Chaos' direction, "Remember this shit at Christmas!"

"Let's go!" Yuna summoned back Bahamut under everyone and they flew off. Aerith erected a shield, allowing them to get out of the stage safety.

"That went nicely." Kain sighed.

"Even better," said Laguna, "We didn't get turned into anything."

Lightning was pissed, "Hey!"

"Should we take Cosmos with us?" Yuna asked.

Tifa nodded, "Yeah. Let Aerith heal her until she recovers."

"She shouldn't stay wrong," Vaan said, "Or the madness will spread."

Everyone laughed as Lightning rolled her eyes.

"What do you think Yuna?" Aerith asked her.

Yuna smirked, "…Definitely not."

To be continued…

* * *

Bonus: In an upcoming chapter, the newbie's will be interviewed. Submit some questions :)


	7. Valentine Game

A/N: Happy late Valentine's Day! Sorry it's late. Homework can be a bitch.

Summary: The noobs play an interesting game with no string attached, or sort of...

Note: Be part of the madhouse! Be sure to submit questions for the cast for the next chapter.

Valentine Game

* * *

The newbies got back to the mansion under one minute to spare before the boss punished them. A few days later, Cosmo recovered and left before she was exposed to the madness. By that time it was the day before Valentine's Day, and Ariel had a great idea.

"Say what?" Tifa shrieked.

Or, so she thought.

Prishe whined, "Can it be something else?"

"I rather die." Kain said flatly.

"That's too damn bad." Ariel snarled, "It's almost Valentine's Day, and they going to play."

"Can it be sometime better than Seven Minutes of Heaven?" asked Lightning.

"Nope. As the host and keeper of the house, we're playing and THAT'S FINAL!"

Everyone flinched as Ariel stomped the ground, creating an earthquake. No one dared bit back.

"I do as she says guys." Aya said, "All of you know what will happen if you piss Ariel off, and it's never pretty. Don't believe it? Ask her latest victim Lightning."

Lightning pretended she never heard that.

"I will let one of you guys off the hook just this once." said Ariel, "In a game of straws."

Gilgamesh was dumbfounded, "Straws?"

Ariel explained, "There will be nine straws. One of them will be one odd color straw. The person who picks that will be exempt from the game."

"Awesome!" Laguna fist-pumped.

Yuna sighed in relief, "If it's not me, I sure hope it's Gilgamesh."

"I'm scared…" Aerith said.

"You and me both." Vaan nodded.

Ariel conjured up the straws and held them out, "Chose. Only one is special."

Everyone nodded, picked one up, and held them out.

"Thin of it as a way to chose your Valentine tomorrow. Watera!"

Ariel used a water spell to drench the straw. All of them looked the same except…

"Cool!"

Laguna's straw turn blue, to everyone's despair.

"Just as well," he said, "I can be no fun."

Lightning rolled her eyes, "Whatever."

"You guy fuck…" Prishe growled.

Minutes later, everyone was in a circle in the living room surrounding a spinner.

Kain groaned, "I rather play Twister-"

"SHUT IT!" the girls screamed.

"I set up a room on the third room." Ariel explained, "You know it when you see it. Remember: me, Aya, and Laguna are not in the game."

"Boo!" said Gilgamesh.

Yuna laughed, "Let the games begin then."

Lightning, Vaan, Prishe, Kain, Tifa, Aerith, and Gilgamesh looked nervous as Ariel struck the spinner. It spun until it landed on…

"Yeah!" Gilgamesh hopped to his feet, "Who wants a hot dog?"

Everyone else made loud retching noises as Ariel spun the spinner again, landing on…

Aerith squeaked as the pointer stopped…on her.

Tifa screamed, "No!"

"She's gonna be roadkill!" Vaan protested, "Redo!"

But Ariel waved them down, "Aerith's gonna be fine."

"Let's go my sweet!" Gilamesh said in a gentleman-like matter, and escorted Aerith upstairs with Aya leading.

"This is gonna be like be like a bear mauling a rabbit."

Tifa and Lightning glared dagger at Kain.

"It's true!"

"But sometimes, the rabbit can bite back." Ariel smirked.

Once they got in the room, Gilgamesh slammed the door behind them.

"IT'S MORPHIN TIME BITCH!"

"Not on your life asshole!"

Seven minutes later…

There was loud howling coming from upstairs.

"Aerith…" Tifa whispered.

Laguna frowned, "That's not…Aerith's voice."

The next thing everyone knew, Gilgamesh was backing down the stair with Aerith in tow, but not how everyone expected.

Yuna cheered, "You go Aerith!"

"Yeah!" Tifa and Lightning hi-fived.

Laguna snickered, "I rather have leg cramps."

Aerith had the "claw" on Gilgamesh's balls, making him howl with pain. She released him and kicked him painfully down the stairs.

"I had him like that when he attempted to rape me," Aerith explained, "For seven minutes that is."

"I'm glad I'm not him." said Kain, "Justin Bieber's lucky that wasn't him too."

"You better wash your hands though. Next!" Ariel spun the spinner.

Vaan and…

Yuna.

"Finally, a regular couple!" Prishe said loudly.

"Shall we?" Vaan offered his hand.

"…Ok." Yuna smiled and took Vaan's hand and went up the stairs.

"Ladies and gentlemen." Aya smirked, "This should be interesting…"

Seven minutes later…

Vaan and Yuna came back downstairs…

"Yuna, you're all red." Lightning's eyes widened, "Don't tell me-!"

"We just played the game," said a really red Yuna, "That's what Seven minutes of Heaven is all about right?"

"You lucky devil!" Laguna gave Vaan a headlock, "How'd you do it?"

"I don't know," he said sheeply, "It just happened…"

"Tidus is gonna be pissed…" Kain laughed, "Mums the world folks."

Ariel rolled her eyes, "Next!"

Prishe and…

Kain.

"Let's have some fun Kain Highland!" Prishe laughed evilly as she dragged Kain by the foot up the stairs.

"Wait, what?"

Laguna looked disturbed, "I feel sorry for the for guy already."

Seven minutes later…

Kain wailed as he flew from the third floor to the ground.

"What did you do to him?" asked a confused Aya.

Prishe gave the thumbs up, "I kicked his ass for several minutes before giving him Holy hell."

"Not the seven minutes of heaven I hoped for." Kain moaned as the others laughed.

"That leaves Lightning and Tifa…"

"Tifa…chan…" Aerith felt pangs of jealously all of a sudden as Tifa and Lightning glared daggers at each other embarrassed.

"Before you two start, I have an announcement." Ariel said, "Soon, we'll be on a TV show with you guy being interviewed."

"WHAT!"

"While you guys are in your alternate costumes!"

"EH?"

"That's all. Now Light, Tifa, you know the rules."

Lightning sighed in defeat before going upstairs, Tifa following suit. Watching them was Aerith, who bit her lip.

"Well, tell me how it went," Kain groaned, "I'm going to bed."

Laguna yawned, "Me too. My leg's startin to hurt here."

"We all know how it'll go." Prishe added.

"No matter," Ariel shrugged, "The game's over anyway."

One by one, the newbies, Ariel, and Aya went to bed, leaving Yuna and Aerith.

"Wanna watch some Jersey Shore Aerith? …Aerith?" Yuna looked around and saw Aerith sneaking upstairs.

Aerith got to the room Tifa and Lightning was in and opened the door to find Lightning topping an embarrassed Tifa. Aerith blushed furiously as the two noticed Aerith at the door.

"I can explain-" Lightning started.

"Let's face it. This is not the worse thing you caught me doing."

"At least you both are still dressed, kinda," Aerith pointed out, "But… I'll forgive you Tifa, if you let me join in."

With that, she closed the door.

Nearby, Yuna giggled, "Poor guys. Looks like it's a yuri-theme Valentine's Day tomorrow. Makes me wish that Rikku was here."

To be continued…

* * *

Submit questions for the noobs. Submit submit submit!


	8. Dissidia Soup BETA

BETA

* * *

In a dark backstage area…

"Remind me why we're doing this?" asked Lightning, who's in Aya Brea's clothes.

"Because the boss says so." Tifa shrugged. She was wearing her cowgirl outfit.

"Well let's get this over with." Laguna groaned, "This Galbadian uniform is freakin tight!"

"Just don't get a boner lookin at me," Prishe smirked, "Don't I look sexy in this. It was worth going to that Sunbreeze Festival."

"I'm sure it was." Kain muffled through is Hood Man outfit, "And why is Yuna wearing a wedding dress?"

"To marry me in this heavy armor of course!" Gilgamesh said proudly before getting kicked in the balls by Yuna.

"Like hell." she said, "And why is he here?"

She pointed at Desperado Chaos, who roared at her.

"They say that he's counted as one of us." Aerith said, who was wearing a white dress, "Too bad he can't talk anymore in that form."

Prishe laughed, "Truly too bad!"

"It hard to believe we won against the originals a few day ago." The tactics uniform-wearing Vaan noted.

A week ago, the newbie met with the originals. But thanks it Cloud, Tidus, and Terra, they was a massive free-for-all between the two factions until the boss decreed a series of matches.

Gilgamesh won against Bartz, Prishe won against Cloud of Darkness, Kain won against Golbez, Yuna won against Jecht, Laguna won against Ultimecia, Vaan won against Garranth, and Lightning won against Garland. However the most notable battle was Tifa vs Sephiroth.

When Tifa was in trouble, Aerith went in to block, but was hit by Sephiroth's Hell's Gate on purpose, outraging almost everyone. Tifa, in a rage, brutally destroyed Sephiroth, ending the battle with a 9999 damage Final Heaven. After the battle, Aerith was okay, but Sephiroth was not, as he was beaten down by the Warriors of Cosmos. Even Jecht, Tidus, Cloud, and Terra joined in. After that, everyone got along again, to everyone's confusion.

"Quite eventful, to be honest." Laguna said.

Ariel's voice came on the speaker, "We're on and live in 30 seconds. Get ready."

"Right…" they all grumbled.

A few moments later…

The audience cheered as the lights came on, reveals a talk show-like setting with a stage.

"Welcome everyone, to the Fantasy Soup!" Ariel said, "Where the jokes are fresh, and the graphics are from the seventies. Without further ado, hosts, come on out!"

Everyone cheered as a man and a woman came out.

"Looks like we're clockin in early, for Reno is here!"

All the fangirl squeals and yelled, "We love you Reno!"

"And I'm Ashelia B'nargin Dalmasica, the Queen of Dalmasica."

She said his in a bored tone, but was cheered nonetheless.

"We'll be getting on with the question in a moment, for we're giving YOU," Reno pointed at the screen (at you), "5 more minutes until we get this show on the road."

"Also, you know what to do." Ashe smirked she took out her blades, "You do have the freedom to give us questions."

Reno shakes the camera, looking mad, "SO GET TO IT!"

* * *

From the author: I shall continue this if I get two or more questions from YOU. Don't be shy. Besides, Reno and Ashe are waiting!


	9. Dissidia Soup

A/N: Dissidia's coming out in a few days! Rejoice!

Summary: Fan-interaction interviews are a go!

Trivia: Ariel Averia debut can be found in my Hikari no Xion story.

Note: Special thanks to the follow for submitting questions: Mrfipp, ForcedDj, PmYuna, InfiniteLunacy, and Yunalover.

Note 2: Also a special thanks to aliasmidnight for not only submitting questions, but letting me use their OC.

Dissidia Soup

* * *

Ariel was in a panic. She needed to find some security just in cases things went bad to worse during the fan interaction interview. 10 minutes before the show started, all hope was lost until…

"Hey, excuse me?"

Ariel turned to see a young girl with platinum blonde shoulder length hair and ocean blue eyes. She was wearing a white tank top with neon blue thin strap tank top over top, knee-length cut-off jeans, khaki lace up boots, and a muddy green military jacket.

"Uh hi…" Ariel blinked, "And you are?"

"Taylor Marshall!" she said, "Nice to meet you."

Noticing a VIII gunblade attached to her waist, Ariel asked, "How good are you with that gunblade."

Taylor smirked, whirling her VIII gunblade around, "Really good, enough to give you a run for your money."

Ariel smirked, "We'll see. Interested in a job?"

Taylor nodded, "Of course! What would you have this firefly in the sky do?"

Meanwhile, in a dark backstage area…

"Remind me why we're doing this?" asked Lightning, who's in Aya Brea's clothes.

"Because the boss says so." Tifa shrugged. She was wearing her cowgirl outfit.

"Well let's get this over with." Laguna groaned, "This Galbadian uniform is freakin tight!"

"Just don't get a boner lookin at me," Prishe smirked, "Don't I look sexy in this. It was worth going to that Sunbreeze Festival."

"I'm sure it was." Kain muffled through is Hood Man outfit, "And why is Yuna wearing a wedding dress?"

"To marry me in this heavy armor of course!" Gilgamesh said proudly before getting kicked in the balls by Yuna.

"Like hell." she said, "And why is he here?"

She pointed at Desperado Chaos, who roared at her.

"They say that he's counted as one of us." Aerith said, who was wearing a white dress, "Too bad he can't talk anymore in that form."

Prishe laughed, "Truly too bad!"

"It hard to believe we won against the originals a few day ago." The tactics uniform-wearing Vaan noted.

A week ago, the newbie met with the originals. But thanks it Cloud, Tidus, and Terra, they was a massive free-for-all between the two factions until the boss decreed a series of matches.

Gilgamesh won against Bartz, Prishe won against Cloud of Darkness, Kain won against Golbez, Yuna won against Jecht, Laguna won against Ultimecia, Vaan won against Garranth, and Lightning won against Garland. However the most notable battle was Tifa vs Sephiroth.

When Tifa was in trouble, Aerith went in to block, but was hit by Sephiroth's Hell's Gate on purpose, outraging almost everyone. Tifa, in a rage, brutally destroyed Sephiroth, ending the battle with a 9999 damage Final Heaven. After the battle, Aerith was okay, but Sephiroth was not, as he was beaten down by the Warriors of Cosmos. Even Jecht, Tidus, Cloud, and Terra joined in. After that, everyone got along again, to everyone's confusion.

"Quite eventful, to be honest." Laguna said.

Ariel's voice came on the speaker, "We're on and live in 30 seconds. Get ready."

"Right…" they all grumbled.

A few moments later…

The audience cheered as the lights came on, reveals a talk show-like setting with a stage.

"Welcome everyone, to the Fantasy Soup!" Ariel said, "Where the jokes are fresh, and the graphics are from the seventies. Without further ado, hosts, come on out!"

Everyone cheered as a man and a woman came out.

"Looks like we're clockin in early, for Reno is here!"

All the fangirl squeals and yelled, "We love you Reno!"

"And I'm Ashelia B'nargin Dalmasica, the Queen of Dalmasica."

She said his in a bored tone, but was cheered nonetheless.

"We'll be getting on with the questions in a moment, for we're giving YOU," Reno pointed at the screen (at you), "5 more minutes until we get this show on the road."

"Also, you know what to do." Ashe smirked she took out her blades, "You do have the freedom to give us questions."

Reno shakes the camera, looking mad, "SO GET TO IT, after this commercial break."

…One minute to go…

"I'm a one woman security girl here." Taylor said, bouncing around the set much to the audience's amusement.

"Geez you're energetic. Just don't such a fan girl here Taylor."

"Who's this kid?" asked Ashe.

"A friend who helping me out in keeping order." Ariel said, "That right, you too Reno."

"Why me?" he whined.

"So that you won't get your ass kicked again by Tifa, and maybe Aerith."

Everyone laughed as Reno hung his head in shame.

"By the way, we go back on in 15 seconds." Taylor noted.

"Queue the music." Ariel said, "I'll go get the stars of the show."

15…14…13…12…11…10…09…08…07…06…05…04…03…02…01…00

Announcer: "Hello again! Tonight, a dragoon who loves the jump. An eight-armed dude who likes Excalipoor. A fighter who's every man's fantasy. A flower girl who got killed. Another dude who has the great attack ever. A summoner who's really a Gunner. An immortal who's got a dirty mouth. A young man who loves ridin' high. A grumpy young woman who really a lesbian. And a desperado who really just a feral monster. Enough of that, WECOME BACK TO DISSIDIA SOUP!"

"And now, the new fighters of Duodecim!" Reno said, motioning to the side.

The audience cheered as out came a bouncing Gilgamesh, followed by Lightning, Tifa, Laguna, Prishe, Kain, and Aerith, who were all smiling and waving. And finally Feral Chaos came out in a foul mood.

"Please, take a seat." said Ariel, pointing to the seats on the stage. Taylor lead them to them and they took a seat. Feral Chaos unfortunately had to sit like a dog, to everyone's amusement.

"Right, we're all here." Reno said as Ashe passed them the microphones, "Intros!"

"I'm Kain Highland…"

"Yo, how do? I'm Gilgamesh, and it's morphin' time baby!"

"Hi! I'm Tifa Lockhart. Nice to meet you."

"I'm Aerith Gainsborugh… hello!"

"Laguna Loire's the name, and guns is my game."

"I'm Yuna… and I don't have a last name, sorry! Ha ha…"

"What up homies? I'm Prishe!"

"I'm Vaan, a sky pirate…"

"…Lightning…"

"*ROAR*!"

"And now that we got our cast," said Reno, "Let's get the fan questions! Who's secrets shall we reveal today?"

The cast groaned as Ashe looked at the nearby laptop with the questions on them.

"First up, we have several from a guy named **Mrfipp**. And it applies to Kain, Lightning, Vaan, Yuna, and Prishe."

-_**How did each of you react when you found out you were considered for the first game, but left out for various reasons, and how did you react again when you made it into Doudecim?**_-

Kain: "I spent too much time chasing Cecil to fight with to care at all. But for now, my loyal fans shall see the almighty Jump in action and watch this dragoon soar. Screw Universal Tuning. Duodecim's where it's at now."

Laguna laughed, "You should probably mention that you were being controlled by his brother."

"Shut up!"

Yuna: "I was worried at first. I just know that people would be pissed if I was chosen. They would've want either Auron or Seifer. But now, I'm in 012, and I'm here to stay. Personally, I wished that I was a Gunner instead of a Summoner. I could've fought like I have in Dead Fantasy."

"I agree." Kain nodded, "Cause you definitely gave Kasumi the works."

"Don't forget me asshole!" Tifa snarled.

Prishe: "I was pissed! How could the boss choose that crazy professor over me? Thirteen needed young woman like Terra, only tougher, not wimpy! When I got the call, I knew it was time for this star to shine. So look out, Warriors of Chaos! Prishe's commin' to get ya. Take that to the bank."

"That would be a sight." Laguna said, "Good luck with that."

Vaan: "When I was considered, it was time to show the fans what I'm made of. But unfortunately, it had to be that jerk Gabranth, who framed my buddy Basch. When I got the call, it was time to bring my Qiuckenings, and kick some ass. I got your number, Judge!"

"I heard your girlfriend was sending letters to get them to cave in," Tifa said, "Look like that worked like a charm."

Everyone laughed at an embarrassed Vaan.

Lightning: "I was considered, but the boss wanted me to lay low and show off my skills in XIII. If I've been in the first Dissidia, it would've spoiled my moveset. I think it was for the best, seeing I had my own shit to deal with. But now I'm in. I'll show you all what a female soldier is capable of. You haters can use me as a punching bag if you want. But of course, like I give a damn."

Prishe looke at her, "You got bit as a child didn't you?"

"Okay!" Reno interrupted before all hell broke loose, "What was his other question?"

-_**All characters (sans Tifa(?)),**__**What will your 3rd alt outfit be?**_-

Kain shrugged, "I don't have one. Maybe I'll have a light version of my Dark outfit."

"I don't have one either…" Gilgamesh moaned, "I'm far from the best outfit ever!"

"Maybe it'll come out as a DLC like mine." Tifa said, "Mine's an enforcer version of my original outfit, only with red."

"Maybe mine will be my Kingdom Hearts II outfit." Aerith said dreamy, "When I told Leon that I can take care of myself."

Taylor grinned, "You mean Squall right?"

"Of course!" Aerith nodded.

"I'm sure none of us have third alternate costume," said Laguna, "Unless our originals count as out first alternates."

Yuna stepped on his foot, "No it doesn't dummy~"

"Leg cramps." he moaned, holding his foot.

Lightning decided to crack a joke, "Maybe Square Enix can dress Prishe in Shanlotto's alternate outfit."

"You wanna die Lightning!" Prishe snapped.

"No thank you." Lightning smirked.

"I'm sure none of us have third alts." Vaan concluded.

Feral Chaos just roared.

"One more." Ashe grumbled…

-_**To Tifa: Why don't you have white hair in your Amano outfit?**_-

Tifa: I do actually. If you go on my Tifa/Dissidia page on the Final Fantasy Wikia website, you'll find the link to it. The picture Amano-san made of me is pretty rare.

"It's really badass." Prishe added.

"Okay then," Ashe said, "Moving on. This one's from **ForcedDj**…"

-_**Question for the ex-sergeant of GC: Has any of the other teammates tried to go out with you?**_-

Lightning looked disturbed, "If you mean my original team, no! If you mean these idiots here, still no!"

"Don't listen to her." Prishe said, "She won't go out with Snow, but he'll go out with a 13 or 14 year old. She like little kids."

"No I don't!" Lighting screeched.

"It makes a person want to sing," said Vaan, "Who wants to sing the love song?"

The audience cheered as Vaan started to conduct the lines with his sword.

"Claire and Hope, sittin' in a tree…"

"K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" The crowd sang.

"Cut it out!" Lightning snapped.

"Pedophile." Prishe smirked.

"I am not!" Lightning raged as the audience made retching noises.

Reno was laughing, "Next! These two are from **PmYuna**. Ashe, if you please…"

-_**Yuna, what's your current status with Tidus?**_-

Yuna: "Huh? Well… uh, normal as always, I guess?"

"Don't worry Yuna," Kain said, "Your story with Tidus is enough to write a 300 page romantic novel."

"Don't get me started on you Kain." Yuna countered. He fell silent in his chair.

"Uh, let's take another one from **PmYuna**!" Reno said quickly.

-_**Tifa, what other Final Fantasy female would you go for?**_-

Tifa: Eh~! Gah, well, uh… (turning red)

Kain patted Tifa on the back, "I'm sure that the question's meant for Light here."

"Shove it dragoon!" Lightning snarled.

"She would go for you Miss Grumpy." Prishe said, laughing.

"Just let her answer the question." Vaan said.

"Well…" Tifa was completely red, "I guess, it depends… on all the artist… and the… fanfiction writers out there…"

"She would go for me, Yuffie, Yuna, Lightning. Rydia, and maybe-"

"AERITH!" Tifa wailed.

"I'm sure she throwing out examples," Laguna assure her.

"Maybe you Ashe." She said, pointing at her.

"What?" Ashe shook her head, "No way! Well, maybe, but… Let's just move on please?"

"Next ones are a series of questions from **InfiniteLunacy**…"

-_**Gilgamesh, Your thoughts on the (more than the last game), but still minimal number of babes in the roster.**_-

Gilgamesh: "It's not cool. They'd be more yaoi, which would be a nightmare! Curse the UMB discs and it's minimal storage capacity! If there would be an equal number of dudes and babes, and if Cosmo can fight, it would be a huge orgyfest!"

Everyone gagged, "EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"

"Fuck off Gilgamesh!" Prishe gagged.

"Moving on!" cried Ashe.

Reno sighed, "They don't pay me enough for this…"

-_**Tifa, Your thoughts on Cloud's Chaos-siding. Aerith, same as Tifa**_.-

Tifa: "I don't know why the moron did it!"

Aerith: "I'm sure there's a reason. We just have to wait and see won't we, right?"

"He won't be with Chaos forever," Yuna said, "Besides, he saved my life in Dead Fantasy."

"Good for you." said Kain.

"Shut it." She advised him.

-_**Yunie, How are the other Gullwings?**_-

Yuna: "The Gullwings? They're swell. Rikku's training for her match with Ayane of DOA. Paine is emo as always, but cool. And the others are doing what they do. That's all."

-_**Prishe, **__**Doth thou believest that thou is better than Shanty (Shantotto)?**_-

Prishe: "Hell yeah, of course! The Doc's got nothing' on thee baby!"

Gilgamesh laughed, "Except if she want's to make sure that your last meal consists of blasting you sky high with her EX Burst."

Prishe looked evil now, "I'm warning you Gilgamesh, one more word…"

-_**Lightning, Where the hell are the others?**_-

Lightning: Read episode i, They're on Gran Pulse, doing whatever.

Gilgamesh couldn't help himself, "I'm sure her sister's working the "snow pole", if you know what I mean."

Lightning finally snapped, "THAT DOES IT!" And launched herself at Gilgamesh.

The audience cheered as Lightning proceeded to beat Gilgamesh to a pulp until Ariel and Taylor pulled them apart. Ariel pushed a seething Lightning back into her chair as Taylor kicked Gilgamesh in the nuts, making him crouch in pain.

"You get your chance Light." Ashe said, "We have a couple more."

"We have another one from Taylor's friend, **aliamidnight**." said Reno.

"This should be fun!" Taylor squealed.

-_**Squall, who eats the most food in the Dissidia house?**_-

"…"

Laguna sweatdropped, "Uh, Squall's not here, but I'll take it. Prishe is the one who eats the most in the house."

"There's a good reason." She claimed.

"I guess she's trying make those grow bigger." Lightning pointed at Prishe's chest.

"ECLAIR!" Prishe howled.

"What's the next one?" Kain yawned.

"I actually have one for Taylor here." Reno said, "_**Who do you think is the most goofy in the house?**_"

Taylor shrugged, "Laguna maybe, but I bet it's Gilgamesh here."

She pointed at Gilgamesh, who was trying to get up, but she sat on him.

Ashe sighed in relief, "Last one's from **Yunalover**. Damn Yuna, everyone loves you."

-_**Yuna… how come you can remember the past but nobody else can? XD**_-

Yuna: "I'm trying to figure that out myself. I guess maybe I was in the previous cycle?"

"Maybe I was too…" Aerith piped up.

She shrugged and got lost in her thoughts, but was snapped back to reality by Feral Chao's snoring. He fell asleep a while ago.

Aya Brea then came out and tapped her wrists at the hosts.

"Well," said Ariel, "That's it for the Dissidia Soup! Dissidia Final Fantasy 012 comes out March 22, 2011. Pre-Order now to get the Dark Cloud costume at Gamestop or the Enforcer Tifa costume at Amazon. Or hell, just get both, like SoulEmbrace2010 did!"

"Get the code for Cecil's DLC outfit in Final Fantasy IV The Complete Collection by pre-ordering it now." Taylor added, "And remember, just because it's called Final Fantasy, doesn't mean it's the end."

"Be sure to sign petitions for me and my friend here to be in a series like Dissidia. That's all folks! I'm Reno…"

"And I'm Ashe, thanks for watching! And we'll see you later!"

The crowd went wild with cheers and applause as the cast got up and walked to the back.

Lightning sighed with relief, "Whew, it's over…"

"I don't know about that," said Aerith, "I'm sure you'll come back for something like this for Final Fantasy XIII-2."

"We'll see."

"Time to go home." Laguna said, "Pizza anyone?"

"YEAH!"

"As long as-" Gilgamesh started but was silenced by a combination of all the newbie's EX Bursts.

"Hey Taylor." Ariel said, "Feel like sticking around?"

Taylor thought about it, "Sure, as long as there's more OCs like us and loads of chaos!"

"Hey guys." Aya said, "Got an e-mail from the boss."

"What is it?" asked Tifa.

"He said "Screw March, the House of Dissidia will now be your new homes and rest spots. Deal with it.""

"…SAY WHAT!"

Taylor laughed as Ariel smirked, "There's your chaos."

To be continued…


	10. Another Day

A/N: I freakin LOVE Dissidia 012!

Summary: It's open season (FAIL)

Trivia: Rest assured, I'll be continuing this fun story. If you want your OCs to be featured, you're welcome to submit.

Another Day

* * *

Just another sunny day. Taylor was walking on the path and to the Croft mansion where the new Dissidia cast was now staying. Waiting for her was Ariel.

"Hey Taylor!"

"Hi Ariel."

"Ready for another day of madness?"

Taylor shrugged, "Yeah, I guess. What's with the camera?"

"I'm advertising for OCs to visit of course. It can get boring around here-"

Just then, a sofa flew out the window with Prishe on it and crashed onto the lawn.

"Ow~"

Ariel laughed nervously, "Or not."

Taylor just looked at the sofa, "What was that?"

"Lightning." Vaan stuck his head out the window, "She's been in a foul mood ever since the decisive battle with the manikins."

Taylor sighed, "I guess she's angry at Square eh?"

"You got that right."

Aya Brea opened the front door, looking weary, "If you're wondering, Laguna and Kain set Lightning off, and now she's on a rampage."

"Is it safe to come in though?" asked Taylor.

Aya shrugged, "… Kinda I guess."

They went inside to find Lightning chasing Laguna all through the second floor.

"It's not my fault!" Laguna wailed, dodging gunshots at very turn.

"So she got mad for no reason?" Ariel grumbled.

Feral Chaos just roared near her.

"Wasn't asking you."

"Hey Ariel, Taylor. How you like my new outfit?"

Yuna came up to them with her Gunner outfit and whirled around.

"About time." Ariel said, "Now you just need your guns."

"I know."

"She's lucky." Kain said while watching TV.

"Too bad your boss hasn't come up with a DLC for you." Taylor laughed, "Why don't you e-mail him?"

"I don't know how."

"…"

"Welcome to the 21st century, geez."

Tifa walk out the kitchen drinking some Mountain Dew, "I'm from Midgar and we use cell phones."

"And no one cares."

The whole mansion rattled from the outside with Lightning and Laguna falling from the second floor to the first and Kain clutching his head in pain.

"He'll never learn." Vaan sighed.

"Are you filming all this?" asked Yuna.

"Yeah," Taylor grinned, "For visitors!"

Lightning looked horrified, "Visitors?"

Aerith came up to them, "That would be nice."

"Of course." Gilgamesh said, "I'm sure Sephiroth would love to come by for another Aerith-kabob."

There was a horrible, bellowing silence. Suddenly finding outside to be the safest place ever, both Ariel and Taylor ran for the hills and through the backdoor as a huge explosion rattled and destroyed the living room.

"The boss is not gonna be happy about this." Ariel moaned loudly, "Who knows what he'll do to them."

"Are you sure you want guests and visitors to come here?" asked Taylor, sweatdropping.

"Of course. No one can resist the madness." Ariel said, "Maybe they'll help us keep order in there."

"We'll be attracting all kinds of OCs here." Taylor told her, "Things might get ugly."

Ariel smirked, "I'm counting on it. As long as Soul finds some free time from college and takes a break from playing 012."

LOL

To be continued…


	11. Late Easter

Author's Notes: I'm lazily bored.

Note: Those who have DLC outfits are wearing them.

Late Easter

* * *

_Mansion Front Lawn_

"Oh hell to the fuck no!" Lightning screeched, "You can't pay me gil to go on a Easter egg hunt!"

"Too bad Light." Ariel said, "Everyone doing it, so live with it."

"C'mon Light," said Kain, "Be happy once in a while."

"She's never happy!" Prishe groaned.

Everyone nodded in unison, infuriating Lightning more.

Aerith twitched her bunny ears she was wearing, "So what in the eggs?"

"The usual." said Ariel, "Candy, gil, items, and other stuff. And they're hidden all over the mansion."

"Inside and out." Taylor added.

"I guess being a pirate has it's perk." Vaan said, proud.

"As long as you don't stretch your arms like another pirate." Tifa smirked.

"And no using the Rift as a shortcut Gilgamesh!" Aya snapped at him.

"Yes…" he grumbled.

Feral Chaos just roared.

"So what do we get from this?" asked Yuna.

"A free pass to get out of any other game we play."

Lightning was more focused now.

"To make sure there are no BS," Ariel continued, "We have a new friend with us today to help me and Taylor out."

"Who, your twin?" Gilgamesh asked.

"No, but she'll be here someday." Ariel answered, getting a groan from the Dissidia cast.

"Meet the newest member of the OC Security Team (a/n: until I can come up with a better name lol)" Aya said, "Come on out!"

Out came a girl with pink hair and red eyes. She's wearing a little black dress under cream colored duster cardigan similar to Rinoa's but with long sleeves, and knee high cream boots. Holstered on her legs were twin pistols.

"Hold on, I got this." Gilgamesh straightened himself out and walked over to the newcomer. "Hey there babe. What's your name?"

The girl took out her gun and shot him in the foot, making him hop up and down in pain.

"Name's Zoey." she said, twirling her gun before holstering it, "Nice to meet ya."

The Dissidia Cast were all looking scared now.

_Later…_

So far, there were no problems, if can counted the fifth time Gilgamesh tried to disguise himself as an egg to ambush Aerith and Yuna. His latest attempt earned him a Mega Flare, sending him flying.

Meanwhile, Ariel, Taylor, and Zoey were all on the top of the mansion overseeing everything.

"So far so good." Taylor noted.

"I wouldn't say that." said Zoey, pointing.

Lightning and Kain were both engaged in a tug-o-war for a red egg.

"What's in there anyway?" asked Zoey.

Ariel looked at Taylor, who was the one that packed it.

"Candy!" Taylor laughed, making Ariel and Zoey fall to the floor.

Just then, the egg slipped out of the warriors' hands and into the basket of Laguna.

"Lucky!" he said before heading to the next area.

_At the end of the day…_

After plenty more of pain and suffering, Aerith was deemed the winner with Yuna coming in second, followed by Feral Chaos, Prishe, Tifa, Laguna, Vaan, Kain, Lightning, and Gilgamesh.

"That was fun!" squealed Aerith.

"Forget that." Prishe snapped, "How the hell Feral Chaos came in third place is beyond me."

"And why am I in the bottom three with these losers?" grumbled Lightning.

"Who cares what you think Light." said Zoey, "Be happy that you're not in last place."

They looked over at Gilgamesh, who was in the dumps.

"So what do the winner get?" Yuna asked.

"A wish granted of course." Ariel answered.

Aerith thought about it, "Mmm… Tomorrow, how about a trip to the hot springs for us girls!"

"What?" cried Kain as Laguna shrugged.

"Hell yeah!" Tifa and Prishe cheered as Lightning sweatdropped.

"The hot springs it is then." Yuna nodded.

To be continued…


	12. Happy 20th Birthday SoulEmbrace2010

Author Notes: My birthday today! And I'm goin to the water park! :)

Note: I'm gonna try to be as fir as I can with all of your OCs.

More notes lol: Right now, I'm sleepy, so I'm gonna go to sleep. Goof night! (1:35am)

EVEN MORE NOTES: I might revise and add more to this chapter if I feel like it...

Happy 20th Birthday SoulEmbrace2010

* * *

"Happy Birthday Boss!" everyone cheered as SoulEmbrace2010 aka James (Jeimuzu) just smiled nervously.

The mansion was getting crowded as the new OCs came in for their first days as enforcers.

"So how old are you now?" asked Laguna.

"20." Jeimuzu said, "But not an adult yet."

"Just a young adult." Ariel teased him as Jeimuzu scowled at her.

"Talk about my first day being security, and I'm in a party already." said newcomer Reno Yamamoto.

He a hyper, video game freak who has black hair in the style of the original Reno from FFVII. He wears a red jacket with a video game controller on the back of it. He wears a headband on his head that says Number one in Japanese. He also wears blue jeans. (and glass?)

"Think you'll be getting a new video game?"

"Maybe the new Mortal Kombat for the PS3."

"Really?" Reno was excited, "Dude. Did you know that the game has all the original fatalities and-"

"Hold it there sports fan." said the second newcomer Xenon Newgear, "I bet he wouldn't get the game if he always knew that."

Xenon Newgear, a kid who's really wise for a 15-year-old. He has short black hair and blue eyes. He's wearing a black jacket with a star on the back, black shorts and white shoes.

"How about that new Final Fantasy XIII-2?" he asked while cramping Reno's mouth shut.

"It's doesn't come out until around Christmas." Lightning said flatly, "We're still in production you know. And it's a freakin pain!"

"At least you get more money, so stop complaining."

"Shut up Prishe!" snarled the beautiful, third newcomer, Amaryllis Dawn.

In blunt terms, she's so beautiful she almost looks unreal. Her hair is long, silky sky blue that reaches her hips and has straight bangs. Her eyes are cloud-white and they seem to sparkle. Her dress is dark blue and it's a turtleneck. She wears a white over jacket with her gunblade holster attached to it. Her boots are high-laced and are dark blue and white.

"It's alright Light." she said, "As much as I hate to admit it, short-stock has a point."

Sure, she has be kind and doesn't like to get to fights, but for some strange and odd reason, she hates Prishe with a passion and is good friends with Lightning. She seems to be in love with someone, but-

"Hey Dawn~."

She turned to look at Invader, a PSICOM soldier girl with a Morrigan Aensland-like figure. She doesn't take anything serious at all.

"Why do you hate Prishe so?"

Everyone, even Jeimuzu, nodded.

Amaryllis flushed, "It's embarrassing!"

"Maybe it has someone to do with the one she's secretly in love with." Tifa teased.

"No!" she shrieked, making everyone laugh. She even clamped her ear even Prishe's laugh was the loudest of all.

"So!" said Gilgamesh, rubbing his belly, "Shall we have cake or what?"

"Last I checked, I thought the cake was a lie." Lightning smirked.

"Very funny Light." Aerith shook her head.

Feral Chaos just roared.

"Aw come on." said the last newcomer, Lenora Raines. "Let them eat cake."

If there's one person Cid Raines is scares off, it's his sister Lenora Raines. She has quite the striking appearance and well, tall as hell. She has grey eyes and dead straight black hair. This 20-year old female would make Mr. Cid Highwind proud. She a mechanic who can fix almost anything, not to mention she has an overall extremely bad temper. Hide the drinks folks!

"And better yet, break out the drinks!" she cheered.

"I don't drink." Jeimuzu said flatly, making Lenora fall to the floor.

"This vacation's gonna suck." she moaned.

"Then go home green stalk." yawned Kain, "Let them eat cock."

A horrible sound made it's way out of the mansion. Kain was lying on the door, twitching.

"Damn Kain." Jeimuzu whistled, "You just knocked the fuck out!"

Kain just groaned.

"Will he be alright?" asked Yuna.

"It's take more than that to kill a moron." Zoey said

"Highly doubt that he'll make it to the hot springs." Taylor nodded in agreement.

"Whatever." Ariel said, "Let's end this chapter already."

Everyone (except Kain) nodded and turned to Jeimuzu.

"Tanjoubi omedetou, Happy Birthday!"

"…Thanks guys. And thanks you readers, for being the best fans of this fanfic, ever. Look forward to more Dissidia Madness in House of Duodecim! Til then!"

To be continued…

* * *

Stay tuned for Hot Springs!


	13. Dissidia Hot Springs Part One of Two

Author Notes: I used DOA Hot Springs as a base for this chapter. Sorry for the hiatus. Life and laziness got in the way.

Notes: Keep the OCs comin!

Dissidia Hot Springs Part One of Two

* * *

"Whee!" Prishe jumped into the hot springs, splashing all the girls with hot water.

"Ow!" Lightning yelled, "Prishe!"

"Sorry! Couldn't help myself… Hot!"

Now Prishe started to hop around in the water, the hot water getting to her.

Yuna ad Aerith laughed while Tifa shook her head.

"Idiot." she grumbled.

"You think?"

The girls turn to the owner of the voice, Amaryllis Dawn, one of Soul's enforcers (a/n: I know, I keep changing the name because I'm lazy lol).

"Hey Dawn, I have a question. Why is it that you always rip on Prishe for no reason?" asked Lenora Raines, who's swimming around.

"Never you mind!" she snapped.

"Oh quiet guys." Ariel said, "Let's enjoy these hot springs."

"Agreed." Zoey nodded as she glided over to the waterfall to where Invader was.

"I wonder what's happening on the men's side?" wondered Aerith.

Taylor shrugged and submerged herself in the hot springs.

Meanwhile, on the men's side…

Reno Yamamoto slid into the hot springs and sighed happily as Xenon grabbed himself some Sprite.

"Wonder how much Soul is spending on this place." Kain yawned as he swam around aimlessly.

"From what I heard, maybe about 1,000 gil per person." Laguna answered.

"How the hell did he managed to get that kind of dinero?"

"Playing our games bonehead."

"Boo!"

Everyone turned to see Gilgamesh near the wall that separated their bath from the girls.

"The cake is a lie!" he wailed, "Soul said that we can see the girl's bath!"

"Quit your bitching you loli lover." Vaan shook his head.

"What?" Gilgamesh snarled, "Loli sucks! Boobies make the world go round."

"Oh god." Kain submerged himself.

"Gilga, I'm gonna tell Soul to cancel your subscription of Sekirei and Freezing anime."

Gilgamesh wasn't listening as the wheels started to turn in his head.

In the girl's bath…

Anya (finally making her debut), Ariel's anti-hero twin, entered the bath to find Lightning chasing Tifa while trying to blast her with Thunder.

"Yikes! What the hell Éclair?" Tifa wailed as she dived back in the water.

"Its Light to you!" Lightning shouted as she dived and landed on Tifa.

"Hey Anya. Welcome to the madhouse." Ariel laughed.

"No matter." Anya smiled meanly, "I love a chaos sometimes. Speaking of which…"

She slid into the waters and sighed loudly, "Dawn-chan here is in love with Warrior of Light. That's why she hates Prishe so."

Girls: O.O

Amaryllis wailed and tried to hide in the water, but Yuna dragged her out.

"Well well…" Prishe stroked her chin, "That explains a lot."

"Your 18…" Ariel shook her head, "WoL's like 27 or something."

"Who knows, who cares." Lenora hiccupped as she downed some Steveweisers, "She's in love~"

"This deserves a song!" Taylor said, "Dawn and Light, sittin in a tree."

"K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" Prishe finished, laughed her ass off.

"That does it!"

Now it was Amaryllis chasing a laughing Prishe.

"10,000 gil she catches Prishe." shouted Lenora, uncorking yet another Steveweiser.

"Count me in!" Zoey nodded.

Meanwhile, after dealing with Tifa, Lightning went up to Aerith and locked eyes with her.

"What?" asked Aerith, looking scared.

"What the hell was Sephiroth was thinking, killing a cutie like you."

"Uh? Well, who knows. I heard that he had a few loose screws in his head."

"… Just don't die again. Think you're capable of that?"

Then, Lightning attacked, ticking Aerith. Aerith squealed and responded with a water splash. Lightning saw it coming and dodged, the water hitting Invader.

"Hey!" Invader splashed back, but she missed and hit Taylor and Zoey just as Amaryllis and Prishe jumped back in the water splash everyone and triggering a massive water fight of epic proportions between all the girls.

In the men's side…

Xenon looked up from the book he's reading and looked over at the wall.

"I know right." Kain nodded, "Girls have all the fun."

"At least we're having fun in our own way." With that, Xenon returned to his book.

"What I wouldn't do to look over the wall." Gilgamesh was star-eyed at the idea, "Come on dude, how about a peek?"

"Hell no." Laguna said from the waterfall, "I value my life. You should too."

"There's no cure for idiots." Reno said, "Just ignore him."

"Aw come on. Would you love to see Tifa in all her busty glory?"

Kain scowled at them, "They're called H-doujin moron. Grab yourself a laptop and go to doujinmoe…"

Reno threw his wooden sword at Kain, giving him a bloody head.

"Who does that these days? It's all about video games."

Meanwhile, on the girls side…

Tifa sneezed underwater, shooting herself out of the water and onto the hard floor.

"You okay?" asked Anya, while preparing a water spell.

"Yeah. Sounds like someone's talking about me-"

She was cut off by a torrent of water being splashed on her.

Back on the men's side…

"Picture suck." Gilgamesh said as he leaned on the wall, "I would love to show the girl why I should be called King Danga-"

Vaan unleashed Torrent while Reno threw this wooden sword at him. Gilgamesh grinned and dodged as the attacks hit the wall.

Both sides…

The girls paused her water fight and looked around confused as the guy's (except Gilgamesh) moaned, "Oh shit…"

The wall crumbled and fell in a ditch in the ground. When the dusted cleared, everyone (except a few) looked at each other in shock.

To be continued…


	14. Dissidia Hot Spring Part 2 Preview

Author Notes: Gomen nasai minna-san. Life sucks. It gets in the way. Not to mention the Assassin's Creed series finally captured my attention. I completed I and II and will soon play to Brotherhood to prepare for Revelations. Despite being back in college now I will complete my stories, especially Dissidia Madness. So thanks for being patient and staying with this story.

Notes: Due to the many submitted OCs, until further notice, I'm not excepting anymore OCs. Sorry guys, but someday, I'll reinstate it.

Dissidia Hot Springs Part Two of Two (Preview)

* * *

Soul (Me), yawned as he walked to where the locker rooms are. Along the way he spotted two individuals, a girl and guy, walking up to him.

The guy, 6'0 (taking a guess lol) has jet-black hair and is wearing formal black slacks, a white t-shirt, and an unbutton blazer. On his back is a longsword with the ability to change elements.

The girl, 5'9, has long auburn hair and is wearing a pair of acid-washed jeans, a white shirt exposing her cleavage, a brown combat vest, and boots. Her her hips are two fire-elemental handguns.

"Hey," said the guy, "You must be the boss."

"Yes I am." Soul said, "And you must be…"

"Zenan Syrias, 21." he said, bowing respectfully, "This little ray of sunshine is Carmine Riele, also 21."

"He's in love with me." She said, giggling, "But unfortunately for my friend here, I'm a lesbian."

"A rampant one at that."

"Shut up Zenan."

"Nice to met ya Zenan and Carmine." said Soul, "Coming into the hot spring are ya?"

Both nodded, "Hell yeah!"

Soul smirked, "Well then. Come on in. I'm paying of course."

Just then, a loud rumbling, followed by a CRASH, shook the building and knocking the three to the floor.

"What the hell was that?" Carmine yelled.

"Don't know." Zenan grumbled, "Maybe Bahamut was summoned?"

"Don't think so…"

Soul kipped up and ran into the locker rooms, with the newbie's following.

Coming out of the locker room on the side, they found themselves inside a huge mixture of dust and mist.

Coughing Soul and Carmine waved off the dust as Zenan used his sword and went out a pulse of wind, dispelling the mist and dust to find the occupants staring at each other in shock.

(end preview. full version coming soon)


End file.
